Getting through the fear
Do you know someone who has been laid
off? Are you afraid to listen to their woes in case
it triggers your worst fears?
In these economic times it is very
easy to become focused on taking care of no.1…in
order not to be affected by the chaos all around
– if that is what you perceive it to be.
On second thought…you could
spend a part of each day making a difference to
someone, just by listening. What lies ahead for
each of us is always unknown – it’s
just that most of us don’t even consider that
possibility!
What is almost laughable is that
the very thing we fear keeps us in fear.
What to do? Tell the truth about
your situation. Are you employed? If the answer
is yes, be grateful to your employer and work diligently
to keep the company in business. Bring your best
effort to work every day.
If you have recently been laid off
– take a deep breath and look around. Instead
of burying yourself under the covers or rushing
around in non productive activity, set a plan for
yourself each day, preferably the night before.
Set your alarm and get up. Take time to exercise
– go for a walk or run to start the day off
right, then start on your planned activities. Go
talk to the local Chamber of Commerce – get
out and talk to people. It may be that there are
companies to call to see if they are hiring, however
showing up in person is a far more effective way
to connect.
Whether you are currently employed,
recently laid off or self employed, connecting with
others during this time is vital to keeping your
morale high. You may think that asking someone how
they are doing if they are out of work would be
depressing and fearful for you…and it can
be if you let it! However if you truly just have
the agenda to connect and listen to them, it will
give the other person room to get creative. When
you get into fear you make the conversation about
you. Remember you do not have the obligation or
responsibility to “fix it” for them.
All you need to do is listen, and ask questions.
Don’t worry about the questions to ask –
just make it about them. How are they feeling, what
are they thinking. Life has a way of offering you
just the right question to ask when you stop trying
and step into being real…as well as really
caring.
This week as you think about the
rest of 2009 – you are after all only in the
second month – who do you want to be in your
relationships? Not just to the people whom you already
know well, but those you want to get to know and
those you will touch as you continue on your journey.
A smile to a stranger; a comment to someone you
have just met; a kind word to the grocery store
clerk. Think of all the ways you can make a difference
to a person and check in with yourself at the end
of each day to see how you’ve done. Whatever
the outcome, this is not an opportunity to be hard
on yourself…that makes it about you again!
:) -it is an opportunity to enjoy making a difference
and simply notice when you are and when you are
not.
